Shem (shemshade) wrote,

In case you ever want to shove eggs up your ass, read this.

There’s some freaky chick on this thing who posted about shoving blue cheese up her ass. Got me to thinking about sticking things up my own ass. I took off my pants and wears and set about finding something to plug up with. No blue cheese that’s for sure. I havve some American slices in the fridge but I don’t think there firm enough to stand the penetration. Then I saw it – eggs! I had three eggs from a while ago, so I decided to hard boil em and cram em for a little hanky spanky.

The idea of eggs up my ass started making me very horny, and I’m a guy who hasta strike while the iron is hot so to speak if you catch my drift know what I mean? So I forgot to time the boiling very precisely. I took em out and boy o boy was my chicken was ever ready for a chokin. I slathered the eggs with vaseline and squatted. The first one went up nice and easy but in less than a minute it started feeling very HOT up there! I didn’t let em cool off enough I guess so I ran over to the toilet to shit it out.

I had to grunt quite a bit, and as it came out it cracked open and yolk splattered all over the bowl, in a great big super splash. I guess I didn’t cook it long enough. It was real strange to wipe my ass and see yolk on the toilet paper.

So that was my day so far.
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